Nighttime Personalities Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

TV's leading comedians devoted the evening criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently launched immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a obvious cash-for-residency scheme for the wealthy.

Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas tune targeting the president. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he sang. "The President ... destroys everything he comes into contact with."

The subject was the controversial program which enables international citizens to buy U.S. legal status for the price of $1 million dollars, or "platinum" option for $5 million. A government page guarantees processing "faster than ever."

"A brief message for you to affluent foreigners: before you fork over the cash, have you considered Canada?" Colbert quipped.

He explained that the scheme is also meant to "extract cash" from businesses looking to hire skilled workers, with large costs. "That's a lot of fees, but if you register, you also get free accommodation at a property of your selection – if it's the a specific Marriott," he continued.

"The most thorough background check the U.S. government has before done," said Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "that $15,000 vetting to make sure these people truly are eligible to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Humorous Roast

On his own program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "Get Into America Express Card."

"This is a card that will let affluent foreigners to live here," he said. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal visitor status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one serious crime of your choosing."

"Maybe it's time to revise that inscription on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your tired masses. Pay a million bucks, you're in!" he remarked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"That's right, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus constantly said! It's in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers focused on Trump's declining approval numbers amid economic anxiety. "People gave Donald Trump a another term because they were angry about the economy," he explained.

Recently, in a bid to discuss affordability, Trump conducted a briefing in front of a array of food items, and behaved strangely to boxes of cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Like the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"He's so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers concluded by targeting conservative media coverage of Trump's financial performance. "Perhaps rather than complaining, you should give him a sparkling trophy like what FIFA did," he laughed.